Practice paragraphs

3. Describe the character of Raymond and the dynamic between him and Fran. Raymond and Fran have a very difficult Relationship, this is mainly due to raymonds attitude. Raymond, when first described in the book, was not very polite or considerate. Raymond appears first at Fran's pearents house as Fran's boyfriend. He proves to be not the nicest dinner guest. "So do you two usually go take a piss together?" (p188). "...He wanted to punch the guy who is screwing his daughter!" (p189).The relationship between Fran and Raymond turns south when Fran tries to stab him with a dinner knife. "Catching him completely by surprise,Fran lunged across the table with a knife....." (p192). In conclusion Raymond appears as a rude, inconsiderate character and this is what leads to the demise of his and Fran's relationship.

Self Portrait

Hi, Im Pippin. I am 14 years old. I smell like Couture, Couture by Juicy Couture. I am of average height, Maybe a little short. I have dark blonde hair. I have freckles and blue eyes. My hair is tied back in a sort of bun with two bits dangling down near my face. I am wearing my school uniform which is navy blue with a white t shirt. I have cupids bow lips. I am wearing fake nails. I have a sticker on my upper right shoulder. The sticker is for international women's day. I am sitting on a plastic chair in a classroom in front of a desk.

Speed Writing:

Summer

she jumped into the cool water and felt the relief from the heat. Ahh she thought to herself this is what summer is all about relaxing and having fun in the pool.

black

He looked around at his friends. They considered themselves goth punks. To him they just looked like fatties in a lot of black. But he did not make this criticism out loud.

School

The teacher turned, no body in the class wanted her as their sub. Subs were meant to be fun and allow the class to do what the teacher did not let them do. This lady did not. Mrs Spider was tall and skinny. She wore a cardigan and pencil skirt and her hair was in a tight bun. She always had an expression on that look like someone had shoved something smelly under her nose.

Food

The restaurant smelled delicious. Too bad that they had not gotten their food yet. Stacys Mum had called the waiter over about 5 times to ask him where their food was, he was gangly ugly and dumb. When her mum asked for a 6th time his reply was "Ummm, yeah it tis coming mame." that was when they heard the loud crash form the kitchen. The turned towards the double doors as a man in a big white chefs hat came out " my apologies" he said in a thick italian agent "This IDIOT did not tell me you had ordered, this meal if free from us" When he left they dug in and it was the most amazing thing she had ever tasted, creamy tomato sauce on a plate of the most delicate tortellini she had ever seen.

Showing not Telling 3: 2. The wizard was ugly and evil. The people of the town were terrified of him. He enjoyed threatening them, especially the chil

The Wizard Turned to the children, they were shaking with fear, he loved that! He was the most powerful wizard in all the land!! Well, he would be when he killed these children and drained them of their power. They were the "most powerful" wizarding family in the village. He looked down at the children quivering on the floor. One of them was crying. Then he turned and looked at their parents. Pfft, he thought, these, the most powerful wizarding family in the land? they could barely hurt a fly! And on that thought, he turned, muttered the forbidden spell, and watched the life drain out of the chidrens faces.

Showing not Telling 2: The Knight was arrogant and greedy. He did not want to help others. He only wanted to be viewed as the most handsome and talent

Sir Boastalot was a knight under the rule of King Arthur. He was not a very good knight and all the other knights knew this. One day, the King called Sir Boastalot into his Throne Room. "Sir Boastalot," he said "I want you to go and slay the Dragon of Errin for me." Sir Boastalot replied "Yes your Majesty, I will leave at Dawn." Sir Boastalot knew he would never be able to slay the dragon. So he called upon the best knight-in-training he knew and told him "The king has told me you are to go slay the Dragon of Errin as part of your training, I shall be accompanying you on this quest." The next morning at Dawn, Sir Bostalot and the knight-in-training left, to go and slay the Dragon. They were gone for 6 months. When Sir Boastalot finally returned with the slated dragons head, but the knight-in-training was no where to be seen. And when the king asked about his whereabouts, Sir Boatalot replied; "Poor chap, He was dragged away and eaten by the Dragon on our second day!" This was a lie. The dragon had not killed him, Sir Boastalot had! When the Knight-in-Training had finished slaying the dragon and brought his head to Sir Boastalot, Sir Boastalot stabbed him and left him there so he would get all the credit.

Showing Not Telling1 The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was Brave and wished to help those in need.

Greg turned at the sound of screaming. He took off, following the noise. When he arrived he saw the man standing over the woman, who had bruises and cuts all over her, he was holding a knife. "Let her go!" he yelled. The man turned, slowly, silently. The look on his face was one of pure fury, a gaze that would have surely made any man crumble. Any man but Greg. "Who are you and what do you want?" snarled the man. He looked murderous, well at least more murderous than he was before. Greg thumbed his gun holster. Damn. He thought. Why is it always when I am on my break?. "I am Detective Inspector Lestrade. And you are under arrest."

Writing with your senses

Situation to re-write: It was time for breakfast. Sense: Smell/Taste

I walked down the stairs as the smell of bacon drifted up, there was something else there too, it smelled sweet and fresh. It was hot and sticky and it smelled so delicious. I walked into the kitchen and saw Josh standing over the stove and as I walked in he turned with a plate of "Pancakes" I practically screamed. I pulled the plate from his hands and sat down shoving and scolding hot piece in my mouth. I could taste the batter which was cooked to perfection and I felt it melt in my mouth. The maple syrup was adding to the whole thing giving it a sugary sweet taste.

Situation to re-write: It was a dark and stormy night Sense: Hear

She was stretched out on the couch watching a movie when the rain came lashing on the windows like a thousand tiny bullets. She turned the sound up. There was a low rumble, like the sound a big cat makes when it is somewhere between agitated and contempt. That was when the first clap came. She jumped with the noise it generated. It was as if someone was clapping magnified about a thousand times. And as this came she gave up with finishing the movie, got up and went to bed.

Situation to re-write: She cuddled up to her teddy bear Sense: Touch/Feel

After she said goodnight to her parents Lily ran up the stairs wanting to get to the comfort of her bed and Earnest before the monsters got her. As she arrived in her room she leaped onto the bed and wriggled under the covers. And as she did this, she grabbed him and felt his softness. It was as if she was touching a furry cloud. She held him close feeling the velvety softness of his bow tie and the cold plastic of his eyes. And in that moment, she knew he would protect her from any monsters that were to come for her.

Situation to re-write: They were walking down the street in the city Sense: Sight

As I stepped from the darkness of the alley I was blinded by the harsh city lights and as I looked around I saw the ads. The expensive clothing brands that no body could afford and the bright colours used in their campaigns. I felt at risk here. It was too bright. In the alley you could not see a foot in front of you. But here, it was as if in this one street god had decided to keep it eternally daytime.